Don’t Do That: A Harrowing “Ask A Lawyer” Lightning Round

November 4, 2015

Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it.

I’ve been selling jerseys that I’ve bought from China on classified sites; they appear authentic, but are not. I call them replicas. What kind of trouble can I get in for selling them to people?

Are these sites classified by the U.S. government or the Chinese government? Are you cleared for that level on either side? Are you really a double agent? Are you looking to be the new Edward Snowden? What makes a jersey “not authentic”: the lack of one sleeve or neck hole, making it not by definition a real shirt? If they are replica jerseys, are they in 1:18 scale? What kind of trouble are you looking for? Did I answer your questions thoroughly and in a way that ensures you have no follow-ups?

Read the rest of the column here at Deadspin.

Illustration by Sam Woolley.

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